first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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