Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
