I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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