I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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