We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
