Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
