All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
should my penis look like a turkey
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
