do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
