I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
