I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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