This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
