I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
