I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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