She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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