I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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