Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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