I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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