He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
