At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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