Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
