So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
