so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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