I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
