The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
