That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
