covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
