Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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