You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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