She is in my trunk
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
