oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
