wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
