Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
