Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
