It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
