Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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