If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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