Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
