He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
