my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
