guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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