Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
