yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
