He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
