they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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