Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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