Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
3pm strippers are depressing
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
