it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize