Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
