just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I want her autograph on my taint
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
