I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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