Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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