I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
