OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
