the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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