I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
You smell like stripper and shame
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i dont even know how to be here
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
