this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
