just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
only you would photoshop your dick
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
