porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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