I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
